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| Here's another laugh-out-loud book in the highly popular format of those little instruction books. Yet, it's unlike any other. This is life from the cow's point of view. Ponder these deep thoughts: "Bulls seldom make passes at heifers with gases." "Never play leapfrog with a bull." "Life is like a cow pasture. It's very hard to get through it without stepping in some unpleasant things." |
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| From the best-selling author of DON'T SQUAT WITH YER SPURS ON! The pages are packed with Texas Bix Bender's no-nonsense outlook on life: "Don't get even--get over it." "Never miss a good chance to shut up." "Brace your backbone and forget your wishbone." "Take your 'take home pay' home." "Put off 'til tomorrow what you shouldn't be doing anyway." |
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| Says the SOUTH BEND TRIBUNE, "This book is worthy of a book rustler." In the tradition of humorist Will Rogers, it takes a look at life through the eyes of the cowboy. It is filled with quips and quotes that represent the Code of the West, like: "Always drink upstream from the herd" and "The easiest way to eat crow is while it's still warm. The colder it gets, the harder it is to swallow." |
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| By popular demand, Texas Bix Bender writes a sequel to his best-selling DON'T SQUAT WITH YER SPURS ON!, which became an immediate cowboy humor classic and has been reprinted 26 times. In this new book, Bender has written 125 funny quips for life. Here are some samples: "A good pard will ride with you till hell freezes over, and a little while on the ice." "If you’re ridin’ a high horse, there ain’t no way to get down off it gracefully." "Nature gave us all something to fall back on, and sooner or later we all land flat on it." "Never be too quick to criticize yourself. It’s not fair to all your friends and relatives who are dying to do it for you." |
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| The author of the best-selling cowboy-humor classic DON'T SQUAT WITH YER SPURS ON! now gives us straight talk from the horse's mouth. The pages are packed with such life- (and horse-) related quips such as: "For every mile of bad road you travel, there's two miles of ditch you're staying out of" and "If you look a gift horse in the mouth, you could lose a nose." |
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| Whether you're a rural homesteader or an urban dweller, Grandpa's good ol' country wisdom offers all the true advice, observations, and witticisms you'll ever need. For everyone weary of city-slickered self-help, Roy English serves up over 140 country bites of reality such as these: "Don't go huntin' with a fella named Chug-A-Lug." "Life is like juggling pitchforks; everyone knows when you mess up." "Trouble is a private thing; don't lend it, and don't borrow it." |
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| "When I am an Old Coot, I will wear funny hats and loud ties, flowered underwear and bright yellow suspenders. I will break all the silly, proper rules and be a kid again." So begins a mischievous look at growing older and making the most of it. |
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| COW CHIPS AREN'T FOR DIPPIN'is an authoritative handbook for all things western worth talking about--the food, the attractions, the people, the vocabulary, and even the art of cow tipping. "This book is dedicated to those well-meaning but geographically deprived individuals who think Johnny Cash is a pay toilet in Pittsburgh." |
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| Yessir, that's cowboy etiquette! Cowboy etiquette is a little ol' book that packs a big wallop, as it cleverly guides cowboys on keeping their cool in any situation, from the saddle to the steakhouse. Despite their rough-and-tumble life, cowboys just might be the friendliest and most mannerly bunch of guys around. Cowboy Etiquette reveals, though, that etiquette is more than just knowing when to say “yes ma’am” and “no sir”; it’s about harkening back to a basic gentility of manner that we sorely miss today. Afraid of stuffy etiquette rules? Try etiquette the cowboy way; Texas Bix Bender makes etiquette as easy as pecan pie! |
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| How to Yodel offers the lessons, tips, techniques, and music you need to get that long-awaited degree in the high art of yodeling, while finally being able to bask in the attention of adoring fans and lovesick coyotes. In no time, you'll be the next Vocal Virtuoso . . . Pavarotti of the Plains . . . Epiglottis Goddess . . . Yodeling Superstar! Simple instructions, illustrations, and examples combined with the accompanying CD make it easy to learn the fine art of the yodel. Renowned country music artist and original Yahoo yodeler Wylie Gustafson shares lessons, trivia, quotes, history, and other tidbits about yodeling, complete with hilarious sidebars. |
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| Is owning a ranch owning the American dream? Or is it owning an overdue mortgage? It's all in how you look at it. Now, from one of our best-selling authors comes a book that gives you a true look at the West, no matter what your opinion. Read it one way, and benefits of being a cowboy shine through the settin' sun. Turn it upside-down and backwards (or was it that way to begin with?), and you'll wonder why the sun even bothered to rise. |
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| Just One Fool Thing After Another: A Cowfolk's Guide to RomanceCowgirl and cowboy join forces to set people straight on lovin'', romancin'', and puttin'' up with each other year after year. Gladiola and Texas speak nuggets of humorous wisdoms like these: "Love is a bumpy trail, but it promises a scenic ride." "A stone stops rolling when it lands near the kinda moss it''s been looking to gather." "Life is not bearable with the opposite sex, until it is unbearable without ''em." |
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| The latest in the line of witty words from one of our best-selling authors. The pages are full of straight talk and life-related quips, such as: "A pard don't mind if you think out loud." "When you make a fool of yourself, a pard don't think it's permanent." "Pards don't ride ahead or behind; they ride beside." |
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